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allegrakate

allegra sinclair
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I found myself falling into madness so I dove
And now I know the best thing I ever did was let go

I’ve learned life is a play that we are always acting out
without ever seeing it from the writers or audiences point of view
When we reach infinity we become the writer
the actors and the audience at the exact same time

So here I am, and now I understand
I was always here, that’s why I always ran
But you can only run away for so long
Before you catch up with yourself and become part of the song
And now I’ve been welcomed to....the heaven I’ve created
I’m telling the truth.....this is the wisdom of the ancients
Holding onto something contradicts our being, so I fly free

Maybe I had to go crazy to get to where I am
But whatever is whatever and I don’t give a damn
I felt myself slipping away and I let myself fall
Maybe you’ve gotta lose your mind before you find it
And when you finally find it you’ll find out you never lost it at all
There’s a natural flow, that’s attached to the soul
It doesn't ask you to go, it just gradually pulls
It’s always now and your never not you
So follow yourself because if nothing else....your existence is true

I’m not a poet or a lyricist, a comet or a star
You’re not a genius or a prophet, you just are what you are
I’m not insane cause I have no need for my sanity
It’s just another chain that keeps me from reality
Reality is mine to play with and mold
and I’ve realized the best thing I ever did was let go
So I let go of the models, transcend the physical mind
and peacefully become part of the whole
When I threw that rock into the fear that I’ve found
The walls came tumbling down

The town I once lived in was built for creeps
I was running around, watching where i put my feet
And now a part of the ground, it all feels complete
So I’ll live in the now and forever be at peace

Live in the now, don’t stray away from the cycle
I’m one with the universe, one with the life flow
When you know this is that & what's below & above
the fear you once had will turn into love.

It starts out with that question again.... how much of it is real?
Now all is irrelevant, outside of this ordeal
Don’t worry about explaining it, there isn’t any human language
that can actually describe exactly how you feel
Now I see clear, through external distractions
Piece by piece it comes together, so I laugh and I smile
In the beginning it was deranged, somehow I’ve managed to maintain
But I guess all things come to pass, after awhile

I think I’ve had the answers all along but I was just afraid to look
Never took the time to read the contents of my own book
I don’t know what troubles I will face with each passing day
but I do know that right where I am right now is where I’m gonna stay
And as long as I’m always moving with myself I’ll never slip away....
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Music

3 min read
I'll be writing till I'm dead or maybe till I'm alive
All the emptiness I've bled has only helped me survive
Something melted inside when the tones hit my pulse
And stifled the idle eagerness to grow into my clothes
No one that I know is any longer good at actin
Like they comprehend the motive uncoated to feed the corroded passion
Actually needs to stay eye level with the rest
That's the least I deserve for the love that I've shed
I've trudged through the sediment in search of the rhythm
Dove soul first to bathe nude in its abyss
Paid dues and made music my religion
Now I listen, close my eyes, and forget I even exist

I sing a lonely bitch's tune, inspired by the surrounding noise
The ship I made to be unsinkable was finally destroyed
I flaunt the grin of a woman that was in love with a boy
Who tried to avoid showing the cry in her voice
But there's something special about the notes that she hears
Those scales are redemption, unraveling repressed memories
And when she breathes, a new energy enters and consumes her
To heal her wounds and unseal her doom

If only I could make them all understand
But words are just words....so I can't
The universe's deepest art form keeps my heart warm with influence
there isn't anything quite as beautiful as Music

To be an angel, you gotta earn your wings
To control your own, you gotta burn your strings
To hit blackjack, you gotta turn a king
But to live forever, all you gotta do is learn to sing
I get a pleasure that's inevitably immeasurable
And I won't let it be rejected by no man
try to make the best of the hand I've been dealt

Why does it have to be so damn difficult?
To live in the frame of a game that will slit your throat?
But I've dug in the mud in search of the drum
Dove soul first to bathe nude in its abyss
Stayed true to the music, now my favorite thing to do is....
Close my eyes and forget that I even exist

I hold this fistful of degenerate ideas
For every genius that was murdered and every ignored thesis
people still deaf to the bells that claimed to free us
I pay homage to the melody I hear cause it's the sweetest
The core of my spirit is naked
And The form of its lyrics are sacred
Blanketed by the original sound of the inner vibrations
I'm floating on the soft clouds of positive creation

I can look at a painting and admire the colors
Or appreciate any type of art that I discover
But what I love is invisible
It's my teacher and I'm its student
Like I said before
There isn't anything quite as beautiful as Music

I'll make music to ride to, to cry to, to die to,
Times two, and finally realize you're alive to

I'll make music to vibe to, to close your eyes to
Break your mind from each vault that sits inside you

I'll make music for survival, to find you
To hide from the landscape humanity you went blind to

I'll make music to rhyme to, to waste time to
To die to, to realize I'm alive to
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What a beautiful world, so fragile and fertile
Pain fills the void, when boy meets girl
He's a puppet to nature now, one year later now
So deeply and sickly in love, it makes him hate her now
The average romanticized american relationship sinks capsize
When either side becomes a slave to it
Conditioned, dependent, afraid to be alone
He needs that feeling that he can..t create on his own
He despises the fact she has a life outside of them
It drives him crazy to think she..s not insanly consumed with him
so he'll give her the guilt trip, hoping she..ll quit...
..living, to stay behind these prison walls
And lose all individualism
Well this is happiness...masochistic torture
plagued by the decadent, craved for the affectionate
The needle digs deep to push contenment through his blood stream, it drowns now - hollow
The pothole of a junkie

If he could only hear her sing he wouldn..t wanna break her wings
But the feeling from emptiness has such a warm subtle sting
She makes up for what he lacks - and so she finds herself trapped
He can..t imagine living his life without someone like that

If we..d discover our long lost art dying
Only the lonely resent angels for flying
Twisted, living off eachother..s sickness, like parasites
This is no fucking paradise

What a beautiful world, emotionally destroyed
lost sight of all joy, when girl met the boy
Between a couple breakups and plenty relapses
Routine read comfort led to serious attachment
Now every once in a while she forgets to breathe
Once terrified of losing him, now trying to escape her misery
Still too much faith in her lifesaving knight in shining armour
Now what knight..s noticing - the scar she can..t hide any longer
But they were her story many years before he was
It..s gross hope to think that he could fill such deep cuts
At first it felt so right but after one too many fights
He turned out that light and all the wonder turned to spite

So they slept in the same bed with guns pointed to eachother..s heads
Dead to the romance, boiling the blood that painted roses red
Suffering from post-honeymoon..s disease, leeched to his whole existence
while she..s wondering how she ever came to live this
Addicted to the way she felt when they spent time together
but detouring the now is a childish attempt to find forever
Despite the fact they held eachother heart-to-heart
You can..t be that close to somebody while being so far apart

If we..d discover our long lost art dying
Only the lonely resent angels for flying
Twisted, living off eachother..s sickness like parasites
This is no fucking paradise
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I found myself falling into madness so I dove
And now I know the best thing I ever did was let go

I've learned life is a play that we are always acting out
without ever seeing it from the writers or audiences point of view
When we reach infinity we become the writer
the actors and the audience at the exact same time

So here I am, and now I understand
I was always here, that's why I always ran
But you can only run away for so long
Before you catch up with yourself and become part of the song
And now I've been welcomed to....the heaven I've created
I'm telling the truth.....this is the wisdom of the ancients
Holding onto something contradicts our being, so I fly free

Maybe I had to go crazy to get to where I am
But whatever is whatever and I don't give a damn
I felt myself slipping away and I let myself fall
Maybe you've gotta lose your mind before you find it
And when you finally find it you'll find out you never lost it at all
There's a natural flow, that's attached to the soul
It doesn't ask you to go, it just gradually pulls
It's always now and your never not you
So follow yourself because if nothing else....your existence is true

I'm not a poet or a lyricist, a comet or a star
You're not a genius or a prophet, you just are what you are
I'm not insane cause I have no need for my sanity
It's just another chain that keeps me from reality
Reality is mine to play with and mold
and I've realized the best thing I ever did was let go
So I let go of the models, transcend the physical mind
and peacefully become part of the whole
When I threw that rock into the fear that I've found
The walls came tumbling down

The town I once lived in was built for creeps
I was running around, watching where i put my feet
And now a part of the ground, it all feels complete
So I'll live in the now and forever be at peace

Live in the now, don't stray away from the cycle
I'm one with the universe, one with the life flow
When you know this is that & what's below & above
the fear you once had will turn into love.

It starts out with that question again.... how much of it is real?
Now all is irrelevant, outside of this ordeal
Don't worry about explaining it, there isn't any human language
that can actually describe exactly how you feel
Now I see clear, through external distractions
Piece by piece it comes together, so I laugh and I smile
In the beginning it was deranged, somehow I've managed to maintain
But I guess all things come to pass, after awhile

I think I've had the answers all along but I was just afraid to look
Never took the time to read the contents of my own book
I don't know what troubles I will face with each passing day
but I do know that right where I am right now is where I'm gonna stay
And as long as I'm always moving with myself I'll never slip away....
Join the community to add your comment. Already a deviant? Log In

i miss you

2 min read
Dear ______ ,

I have to say something
My brain is stained with you
I don't even think I can explain how much I miss you
My tears frame this page, my fate is outlined in chalk
The other day I freaked on the street when someone talked like you talk
It took a second not to think it wasn't you
And everything crashed down
I know for what I've done, I deserve to be snatched out

I miss talking to you each night before I passed out
This memory of you is gonna be hard to blast out
Sometimes I sit and wonder
if you're still holding my phone number
In the morning its hard wake
I know this all too late
I've spent a month in my room, never opening the drapes
I didn't get to say goodbye - it's not fair
but I know you're just a guy, so you probably don't care
Hope you have fun in your world, but I'm wishing I could be there

Pardon the random thoughts
When I speak of you I get lost in memories
The intensity of losing you is like 1000 degrees in the desert
With no sight of water or trees
I dream of an oasis, see you in a hundred faces
Hear you in music, picture you partying in different places

I may never be forgiven, I'm cursing' every religion
My heart is always with you
And anyone that I love will have to know
A part of me can't go to them
even though we're still friends
If there was something I could do
for you to like me again....

I miss you
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Featured

My reality check came in the mail! by allegrakate, journal

Music by allegrakate, journal

twisted paradise by allegrakate, journal

My reality check came in the mail! by allegrakate, journal

i miss you by allegrakate, journal